I <3 Song-Poems

I've always been a fan of the odd, offbeat, and slightly warped. Hence, my discovery of song-poems felt like finding a long-lost cousin in a random crowd. For those of you who aren't familiar, song-poems come from small ads placed in the back of magazines soliciting "poems" (and a few hundred dollars) to be turned into songs--because, you know, there's big bucks to be made in the music industry, and your poem could be turned into the next big Billboard chart-topper! For your words and money, you'd typically receive a 7" record (or these days, a CD) and maybe even the opportunity to appear on a compilation. Many of these records ended up in dusty thrift store record bins where they sat for years. These days, they're nearly impossible to find and are considered very collectible.

Song-poems are essentially a scam. No song-poem has ever topped the charts, or even come close to entering them. The people who make the music and sing the songs are in it simply for the paycheck. However, what we are left with is essentially comedy gold, and the results range from completely insane to passable. Many songs are political or patriotic in nature, there are, of course, love songs, and some are kinda dirty. There's even a collection of holiday themed song-poems available. What all these songs have in common is a distinct "huh?!?" factor that is virtually unmatched in music. It feels like these songs could really only come from the anonymous collaboration of amateur writers and hack musicians. Try throwing one of these into the mix at your next party and watch the looks on people's faces and you'll see what I mean.

There's a great film covering the subject, Off The Charts: The Song-Poem Story, which not only takes a look at the history of the art, but gives us a peek at what the industry looks like today. In the film you can actually witness the recording sessions for such future hits as "I'm A Ginseng Digger," "Be My Shark," and my personal favorite: "Non-Violent Taekwondo Troopers," who's author states "The subjects I write about are: martial arts, the ladies, and religion, and science fiction too." It can sometimes be hard to find, but the soundtrack is an essential post-viewing purchase.

All in all, I have to admit that I really, truly love these recordings. They're always the perfect bit of spice for a mix CD or playlist, and when one comes on in shuffle mode, it almost always elicits a smile. As ridiculous and fun as they are, most of the words come from the heart, and though the vast majority of them are extremely bizarre, they mean something to someone. In a world full of jaded and often pretentious music, that's gotta count for something.

Recommended listening:

• The American Song-Poem Anthology: Do You Know The Difference Between Big Wood And Brush
• The American Song-Poem Christmas: Daddy, Is Santa Really Six Foot Four?
• Off The Charts Companion CD Soundtrack
• Anything by prolific song-poem composer Rodd Keith

--Alan Wiley