Singles Report for August 19: T.I., P!nk, Solange, Faith Hill, Ben Folds and More
T.I. - "Whatever You Like"
I'm not sure I ever needed to hear T.I. singing, but at least he's enunciating and not using autotune, so I'm going to call this at least a small win. Here, he seems like he's following the 50 Cent model, where he releases an ultra-dumb poppy, sing-song joint about clubbing/drinking/smoking/humping that's clearly beneath his capabilities as a rapper in the hope that pandering to the lowest common denominator opens some wallets. That's fine-- I'm not going to get mad at someone for padding his pocketbook by recording some ringtone rap-- but I think about how majestic "What You Know" was and it managed to be grimy, interesting, and popular all without having to drop some moronic innuendo like "brain so good/ I swore you went to college." For all that talk about how T.I. spent that time under house arrest honing his craft, you wouldn't know it from listening to this song.
Recommended If You Like: "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne but hate the Cher effect/robot voice
Rating: 6/10 Ringtones
P!nk - "So What"
If you've been thinking to yourself, "I wish Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" sounded more like a jock jam, but also had some of those trendy trance keyboards happening in the background and featured lyrics about unconvincing post-divorce empowerment instead of fashionable lesbian experimentation," you'll probably be very happy to hear this song, but sad about everything else in your life.
Recommended If You Like: Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, desperate stabs at continued relevance
Rating: 32/100 randomly placed exclamation points
Faith Hill - "A Baby Changes Everything"
You might think Faith Hill is trying to capitalize on barely-existent The Secret Life of the American Teenager-mania by whipping out a treacly, orchestra-backed ballad about an unplanned adolescent pregnancy, but you probably haven't taken into account that this August single is from her forthcoming holiday music album. The song is actually a somewhat interesting look at Mary's perspective on the Immaculate Conception, but interesting certainly does not always equal enjoyable. NOTE: The song's been taken down since we posted this. We apologize for the tease.
Recommended If You Like: Amy Grant, LeAnne Rimes, out-of-season Christmas tunes
Rating: 8/15 baby Jesuses (Jesii?)
Solange (feat. Lil' Wayne) - "ChampagneCroniKnightcap"
There was a time I found it irritating that Matthew Knowles, daddy-manager extraordinaire, would shoehorn Solange into appearances as a condition to get his other, more famous daughter, Beyonce, to show up at awards shows and the like. It always felt like he was trying to hard to make "fetch" work, but based on two awesome singles-- this one and "I Decided," which sounds like vintage Natalie Cole-- and some interesting interviews she's given recently, it seems like Solange may actually be the more interesting star. This song is some tight pre-bedroom R&B. It's suggestive, midtempo foreplay that should leave you good and ready for the whole album when it drops next week
Recommended If You Like: Robin Thicke, Brooke Valentine, surprising talent
Rating: 22/27 Lil' Wayne guest verses
Five For Fighting - "Something About You (Theme From The Baby Borrowers)"
John Ondrasik has always struck me as the sort of guy who's self-aware enough to find one of his band's songs rereleased as a single because of an attachment to a morally reprehensible reality show as funny as I do. Still, unless you're a Five for Fighting superfan (in which case you probably already have the bonus disc on which this song was originally issued) or you collect TV theme songs, you're probably better off heading over to the dude's charity site, Whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com, and cruising the user-submitted videos for a while instead of spending time downloading this nearly forgotten song.
Recommended If You Like: Matchbox Twenty, Train, thinking about what kind of parents would allow random teenagers to care for their newborn babies
Rating: 9/16 bad reality show ideas
Keane - "Spiralling"
I certainly didn't expect the new Keane single to be this brilliant, neon-colored dance anthem, but if you did, please get in touch so I can harness your psychic powers for awesome instead of weird. I'd also like to use your psychic powers to bet on sporting events. Thanks!
Recommended If You Like: the Killers, Kenna, dancing instead of crying
Rating: 43/50 discoballs
Ben Folds (feat. Regina Spektor) - "You Don't Know Me"
Out of the three duets Regina Spektor has recorded with artists I like (the other two being "Modern Girls & Old Fashion Men" with the Strokes and "Hell No" with Sondre Lerche), this song is second best, but it's also Ben Folds' best shot at a hit since he went solo. "You Don't Know Me" is intriguingly odd, just like you'd expect from the parties involved, but it's also accessible and catchy as hell.
Recommended If You Like: Maroon 5, non-ska Madness, two quirky tastes that taste great together
Rating: 81/100 Dueling Pianos
Wayne Brady - "Ordinary"
If you like grown-and-sexy, straightforward, smoothed out, late-perioud Luther Vandross-style R&B, this isn't bad, but I'm among the segment of folks that will no longer be able to think about Wayne Brady without that infamous Chappelle's Show sketch coming to mind. He does not crack wise a la Whose Line Is It Anyway here, nor does he threaten to choke a b-word; it's just earnest musing about being old, boring, happy, and in love.
Recommended If You Like: Brian McKnight, Al Jarreau, changing into sweats when you get home from work
Rating: 27/40 happy marriages
Fujiya and Miyagi - "Knickerbocker"
The lyrics aren't generally the primary point of focus in Fujiya and Miyagi songs. This is music with chugging rhythms to keep you dancing/working out/doing key bumps/shopping at Urban Outfitters, and it's excellent for that. However, the lyrics to this song, which repeat the names of both an ice cream sundae and a former child star who was driven to death largely by anorexia, are too bizarre to ignore, even if you don't understand the non-American references. Is the groove enough to get around this? Maybe.
Recommended If You Like: LCD Soundsystem, Hot Chip, hot fudge
Rating: 137/165 Ziggy Pigs
Everlast - "Folsom Prison Blues"
Everlast shot a man in Reno just to watch him jump around.
Recommended If You Like: Desecrating the memory of Johnny Cash, seeing Everlast embrace his House of Pain past
Rating: 3/77 used copies of Whitey Ford Sings the Blues
-- Jeff Reguilon
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