An '80s Moment with Alan: Ladies of the '80s
My '80s obsession is pretty well documented--I find myself falling further and further down the rabbit hole of (hopefully) endless '80s obscurities, and I'm loving every minute of it. In this post, I've chosen to focus on some of the ladies of the '80s. I'm not talking about Madonna, or Cyndi, or Cher, though I'm tempted to go there (hey that rhymed!), I'm gonna take you some places you may have never been before. Follow me...
Bardeux, "When We Kiss"
I'm putting this one first because you have to watch it. Now, I know I've posted a Bardeux video before ("Magic Carpet Ride"), but that was before I re-discovered/remembered this gem, and I would be remiss if I didn't share it with you. "When We Kiss" makes "Magic Carpet Ride," both from the magnificent but totally out-of-print album Bold As Love, seem kitschy and quaint by comparison, not that there's anything wrong with that. "Kiss" is a straight up slow jam with some cheesy-ish raps and a vibe that someone needs to resurrect, because this track is on fire. I would totally cruise down the street with this blasting out of my stereo anytime, any day. Make special note of the use of what may be the cheesiest fake sax/trumpet/trombone synth sound in the whole wide world. It's very presence in this song elevates it to a higher plain. Plus, I want to live in the fantastical soap opera world where this video was shot--a world where these girls are my best friends and I can borrow those sunglasses.
Kim Wilde, "The Touch"
You may know Ms. Wilde for her hits "Kids In America" and her truly stellar remake of the Supremes' '60s hit "You Keep Me Hangin' On," but today I'll shine the spotlight on a lesser-known track--"The Touch" from her all-but-forgotten and totally out-of-print '84 album Teases and Dares. Not only is the song totally great in that way that only the '80s can conjure, but the video is a complete WTF mashup of Cinderella and the frog prince, complete with scary drag queen evil step-sisters. Don't miss the incredible dance she does with her arms at the end, which begs to be replicated on dance floors and in bedroom mirrors across the world.
Frida, "I Know There's Something Going On"
Oh Frida, you were always the overlooked lady in ABBA, but once you went solo, you kind of completely totally ruled. In this Phil Collins produced track (and album--his signature drums are all over this one), Frida reveals a side of herself absent from any of her previous musical efforts, the side of her that rocks. She teases with her verses, then eventually lets loose into a paranoid robo-chorus for the ages. I think the whole album is about her split from former husband and bandmate Benny Andersson--it has a real jilted lover vibe to it, and this song is pure magic.
Jane Weidlin, "Rush Hour"
Before she was the hot/cute/sweet dominatrix lady on that one VH1 show, Jane Weidlin was a member of and main songwriter for '80s staples the Go-Go's, but in the years between the two, she was a pretty rad solo artist. If I were ever to make a list of the greatest songs to drive to, "Rush Hour" would have to take my number one spot--it's loads of fun, but really kicks in with it's catchier-than-a-cold chorus. Here's proof of its greatness in video form (bowties! everywhere! dolphins!):
Jane Child, "Don't Wanna Fall In Love"
From one lady named Jane, to another. This Jane, Jane Child, is a lot different from the last one. In this era of "Don't Wanna Fall In Love," she has what may be the most extreme mullet ever worn by a human, or any other form of life (or is it some sort of hair cape?), not to mention her, at the time, totally frightening earring-connected-to-nosering-chain-thing, that just seems kind of dated and cute now. Note the fantastic scene near the end where she rocks out facing the wall of a surprisingly well-lit NYC street.
Pebbles, "Girlfriend"
While this a great pre-pills Paula Abdul knockoff, fast forward to around 2:20 and again around 2:50 for the really good part--one of the greatest shout bits in an '80s pop song ever: "To believe, or not to believe, that is the qwes-tee-yawn. It just takes a street degree. You've lied your last lie, and I've cried my last cry, I'm out the door baaaby! There's other fish in the sea." Do they think pronouncing the word "question" like that makes it more high class? Perhaps in a world where one earns a street degree, it does.
Did I miss your favorite super obscure '80s lady? Got any other ideas for nooks and crannies of '80s music I can uncover? Let me know in the comments. See you next time!
--Alan Wiley

