ChordStrike

Singles Report: Foo Fighters, Consequence, Melissa Laveaux

Foo Fighters - "Wheels"
Even though their last couple albums have been spotty enough to make me almost lose interest, I've always felt like the Foos had it in them to assemble a pretty stacked greatest hits collection, which they've VERY CONVENIENTLY done just in time for the holidays. Unfortunately for us, the band tacked on two new jams, of which, "Wheels" is one. Listening to the beginning, I felt like the MP3 was mislabled and I accidentally downloaded some Keith Urban. What followed was a generic smear of limp, slick, unfortunate, late-period Tom Petty impersonation. I'm not against the new stuff, but I'm pretty sure I would have been happier if they had clipped this from the tracklist in favor of "I'll Stick Around" or "Walking After You."

Suggested if you like: Tom Petty, an extremely competent cover band performing Tom Petty songs, "mediocre-of" material appearing on a "best-of"
Rating:  13/69 Full Moon Fevers

Consequence (feat. Kanye West and John Legend) - "Whatever U Want"
Because he has but one flow and a steadfast refusal to vary his rhyme schemes, Consequence is best taken in small doses. For a number of IMMA-LET-YOU-FINISH-related reasons, our old pal Yeezy has, as of late, also been getting his mail forwarded to an address in the best-in-small-doses zip code. As such, you'll be satisfied to know that they're each limited to four bars at a pass in this slinky Gin and Tonic of a tune. With its low-key vibe and 2:37 run time, it feels more like the suggestion of a song than an actual song. Still, I've listened to it five times in short succession, mostly because I'm left wanting more each time. When was the last time you could say that about anything involving any of these parties?

Suggested if you like: "I'm Good" by the Clipse, "Love Hangover" by Kidz in the Hall, surprise awesome
Rating: 26/30 prefunk cocktails

Melissa Laveaux - "Crazy in Love"
I have no idea who this person is and I'm generally against covers of songs I like (TWO STRIKES, LADY), but this thumpy, acoustic reinvention of the Beyonce ultrajam is-- no exaggeration-- the best new song I've heard in months. Should you decide to scoot over to her MySpace page, you can listen to, along with some of her originals, another unique cover, this time of Elliott Smith's "Needle in the Hay." Her version of "Crazy in Love," however, is so good I don't even miss the Jay-Z verse. A++++ NEW ARTIST. WOULD BUY FROM AGAIN.

Suggested if you like: Lykke Li, Emiliana Torrini, making a great thing even better
Rating: 93/100 oh-no-nos

-- Jeff Reguilon

Singles Report: Eminem/Dr. Dre/50 Cent, the Decemberists, the Lonely Island, Neil Young and More

Eminem, Dr. Dre, and 50 Cent - "Crack a Bottle"

Look, I understand each one of these dudes were phenomenally successful at some point during the past decade, but does anyone actually care anymore? Eminem sounded dreadfully bored on his last record and has since spent his downtime making sizable deposits in the ol' booty bank thanks allegedly to stress-related binge eating. Dr. Dre's Detox usurped Chinese Democracy's crown as the go-to perennially delayed, possibly fictional album by an aging superstar. 50 Cent is a smart dude, but his audience turned on him after he underestimated their intelligence one too many times, and now can't even keep his MTV reality show on the air, which makes him less of a cultural powerhouse than Tila Tequila. Are we really supposed to consider a joint single by this three-headed hydra of past-their-peak rappers some sort of event? Apparently!

If you're among the several who are legitimately excited about the prospect of these three getting together on a track, you might want to dial your expectations a bit, since "Crack a Bottle" sounds less than legendary and more like a slightly better-than-average Gym Class Heroes song. The sing-songy Em hook seems like it was one of 50's bad ideas, a theory which is lent creedence by 50's also sing-songy verse. Eminem doesn't sound particularly rejuvenated, but he also doesn't try to pass anything as bad as "Just Lose It" here, so I'll call this a win, even though I'm kind of grossed out by the way he says "Tahoe."

50 sounds weirdly tearful on his verse, like he just realized his formula-- not the Vitamin Water formula, but the songwriting formula--doesn't work anymore.

Of the three, Dr. Dre acquits himself the best, which is awesome for him, seeing as how he's about to turn 44 years old and, ghost writers or not, relatively elderly rappers rarely sound better than embarrassing. Good for him.

"Crack a Bottle" would be decent as a midtempo album cut, but as an event single, it's dudsville, dudes.
Recommended If You Like: 213, seeing the Sugar Hill Gang at your county fair, day-old sushi
Rating: 12/50 Bottles of Formula 50

The Decemberists - "The Rake's Song"

Holy cow, the drums sound terrible on this song. Also, this song is not about gardening at all. I call shenanigans!
Recommended If You Like: Death Cab for Cutie, a wussier version of late model Spoon, when word nerds make grammatical mistakes (you don't "remember it clear," you "remember it clearly," Colin)
Rating: 69/100 Antique Dictionaries

Neil Young - Fork in the Road

We'll cut Neil Young some slack for making lazy blues that sounds like a shambling take on ZZ Top because, well, because he's Neil Young. I will say it's phenomenally weird, though, to hear him sing the phrase "keep on blogging" on this end-of-session cast-off recording. About halfway through, Neil simultaneously sells/reviews the song by singing, "Download this/ Sounds like sh*t." Brief and accurate.
Recommended If You Like: Paul Westerberg and other self-aware aging rockers who have discovered the power of internet immediacy
Rating: 14/24 lazy social critiques

The Lonely Island (feat. T-Pain) - "I'm on a Boat"

The difference between this and the above Eminem/Dr. Dre/50 Cent song is that "I'm on a Boat" actually sounds like something that might get played on the radio in 2009.
Recommended If You Like: Young Jeezy, Plies, doing flips on a dolphin
Rating: 57/70 bottles of Santana Champagne

Beyonce - "Si Yo Fuera Un Chico"

This version of "If I Were a Boy" isn't Beyonce's first Spanish translation of one of her hits. What's interesting is that, even though she doesn't speak Spanish, her pronunciation is pretty good. A dude named Rudy Perez has been responsible for rewriting her songs in Spanish and teaching her how to sing them phonetically, which is kind of fascinating to me. If I were him, I'd be tempted to make her say wildly inappropriate things, but this (along with a staggering lack of talent) is why I'm not afforded these opportunities.
Recommended If You Like: Beyonce, except, you know, in Spanish
Rating: 44/68 Telenovelas

Jadakiss - "Can't Stop Me"

Tired vague gangsta-isms over what's actually a pretty nice soul beat that references Marvin and Tammi's "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." He makes a point to call out ringtone rappers, but this is barely more challenging than anything Flo-Rida does, which is disappointing because Jadakiss is actually capable of more.
Recommended If You Like: Beanie Sigel, Fabolous, Rocafella ca. 2001
Rating: 17/30 Gun-Related Punchlines

Daniel Merriweather (feat. Wale) - "Change"

This is easily my favorite new single of the week. Judging by Daniel Merriweather's relationship with Mark Ronson (he's appeared on two of Ronson's "solo" albums), I'm guessing the horns on "Change" are played by members of the magnificent Dap-Kings. Throw in a couple of tight verses from promising MC Wale, and Merriweather has surrounded himself with enough talent to make this little nugget of propulsive soul a total jam even if he didn't really bring anything to the party himself. Thankfully, he does.
Recommended If You Like: Jamie Lidell, Robin Thicke, things that are awesome
Rating: 78/89 Workout Playlists Made Up of Only This Song

-- Jeff Reguilon

Singles Report for 9/9: 88-Keys with Kanye, Chris Cornell, Queen + Paul Rodgers, TV on the Radio and More

88-Keys (feat. Kanye West) - "Stay Up! (Viagra)"
I'm not sure if the timing on the official release of this single from Hip-Hop/R&B producer 88-Keys is great or awful. On one hand, the Internets are ablaze with talk of Kanye's VMA performance and the surprise announcement of a December release date for his next album. On the other, this song has been available since Kanye's Can't Tell Me Nothing mixtape came out in May of 2007 and the Borat reference doesn't make "Stay Up!" seem even remotely fresh. Still, the beat, threaded with a fluttery flugel horn loop, is relaxed and Kanye is crassly funny, rather than earnestly pompous, which doesn't happen as often as it once did. The single is nice enough, but not groundbreaking. If this is the only new release featuring Kanye you find when you're searching for "Love Lockdown" this week, it won't satisfy you, but it might still be worth the buck to pick it up.
Recommended If You Like: Rhymefest, Common, envisioning Dave Chappelle as a rapper
Rating: 8/10 Little Blue Pills

Chris Cornell - "Ground Zero"
When a former grunge god collaborates with an increasingly creatively bereft Timbaland, then releases a song called "Ground Zero" two days before the seventh anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, he's basically daring critics to exercise bad taste and use disaster-themed puns in reviews. I'll resist, not because I've suddenly developed good judgment, but because this isn't 100% terrible. It's only around 65% terrible, which is better than anyone could've hoped. Surprisingly, "Ground Zero" shares a lot of sonic similarities with the last Gnarls Barkley record. That's cool and all, but it makes me want to play Rock Band with Cee-Lo and let him take the vocals on "Black Hole Sun" more than it makes me want to add "Ground Zero" to any playlists that might make it anywhere near my iPhone. The song may not be fantastic, but it does leave me curious to hear what else might make it on the album. I couldn't say that before I gave the single a spin.
Recommended If You Like: Gnarls Barkley, the Mark Ronson Versions record, dreaming about attending the Timbaland/Interscope School of Career Resurrection
Rating: 67/150 VHS copies of Hype

Queen + Paul Rodgers - "C-lebrity"
I wonder if Paul Rodgers is self-aware enough to realize how well the lyrics to this jab at vapid Hollywood culture and just-add-water celebrities like Heidi Montag suit his own current situation. "Got no idea/ what to do/ or why I'm here/ Wanna get my face/ on your TV/ I wanna be heard/ I want to be seen." Not to knock the success of Free or Bad Company, but I'm pretty sure Paul Rodgers would be neither on my TV, heard, nor seen if he weren't actively involved in tainting our memory of "Fat Bottomed Girls." I understand that it's a much more lucrative proposition to sell this under the banner of Queen, where they can more easily bilk convince fans to pay $100 to sit in the nosebleeds at their concerts or get the CD stocked at a big box store. If they billed this as a supergroup under a different name, you'd likely never hear about it until they were about to play your local county fair. Still, there's no sonic continuity between any Queen recordings and this, which means at least some fans will be upset. As it stands now, if you're careful, you'll probably be able to avoid this until it inevitably plays over the end credits of an episode of Entourage. I'd recommend doing that.
Recommended If You Like: Harnessing Freddie Mercury's grave-spinning as an alternate source of energy
Rating: 3/25 Ones Who've Bitten the Dust

TV on the Radio - "Dancing Choose"
Even though TV on the Radio's success was built largely on the back of hipsters, "Dancing Choose" makes it seem like the band has no problem biting the hand that feeds them. Taking into account how boring it is to hear people mope about the gentrification of Williamsburg or how awful those aforementioned hipsters are, it's nearly a miracle that this song is tolerable at all, let alone good. It's clever, catchy, and instantly replayable, which means the exact people they nail here are likely to Twitter about how much they love it. Whoever registers angryyoungmannequin.com to start an MP3 blog gets a prize and/or a punch in the nose. I'm not sure which yet.
Recommended If You Like: Saul Williams, Kenna, dancing to songs that are making fun of you
Rating: 47/55 Cobrasnake Photos

Robin Thicke - "The Sweetest Love"
There are plenty of reasons to not like Robin Thicke. There's the whole Vibe controversy where he allegedly/erroneously accused the magazine of not allowing white folks to front the magazine when he got denied the cover, or that he's Jason Seaver's son, or that he soul-cooed over the entirety of "A Fifth of Beethoven" while portraying a character I like to call "Bike Messenger Jesus" in his first video, or that he has thus far refused to title any of his albums Touch Me, I'm Thicke. These are all perfectly valid reasons to root against him, but I have been irrationally and unabashedly riding for him since before his first album's release got delayed. Therefore, there's no reason you should trust me when I say this is good. I will say, though, this piano ballad is better than any of the smoothed-out jams that made the latter half of The Evolution Of... seem to drag on too long.
Recommended If You Like: John Legend, Hall and Oates, dudes secure enough to use a blow dryer and a constant falsetto
Rating: decline to state

R. Kelly - "Skin"
I will be the first to admit R. Kelly is a demented genius and that he's at his best when he's at his most unhinged, but maybe it's better to release something closer to "U Saved Me" or even "Heaven I Need a Hug" than a sex jam after he used the power of magic (or very effective lawyers) to get himself acquitted from that child pornography case. Even if he hadn't splashed down in those murky legal waters and R. Kelly naughty talk didn't make people feel icky, this just doesn't stand up to even the weakest of his extensive catalog of hump anthems. It sounds like The-Dream's stab at creating a genre called "Horny Adult Contemporary." Not a good look.
Recommended If You Like: The-Dream, Trey Songz, songs that make you feel like you need to take a shower
Rating: 7/14 Shocking Acquittals

Brandy - "Right Here (Departed)"
Until I recently heard a clerk in a store put on Brandy's 2004 album, Afrodisiac, I hadn't thought much about Brandy in a while. I don't think I'm the only one who forgot about that record, but hearing it again reminded me that she has some good post "The Boy Is Mine" joints. She was also ahead of the curve by sampling Coldplay before Jay-Z or Kanye had Chris Martin on their records. Granted, fresh thoughts about how she didn't get a fair shake last time out may color my opinion here, but "Right Here" sounds like a hit. She takes a risk by including allusions to traffic accidents after making headlines for being involved in a fatal crash, but unlike R. Kelly, it seems like she's working out some feelings here and not just being ghoulish. I'd be willing to bet there will be an emotional performance of this song on an awards show within the next twelve months. It will probably involve fake stage rain.
Recommended If You Like: Jordin Sparks, Leona Lewis, teen stars who've matured into competent adults
Rating: 16/20 Dreams of Placing Weird Bets on Future Award Show Appearances

Jolie Holland - "Mexico City"
There isn't a lot of middle ground when it comes to Jolie Holland-- her voice is either the sound of angels or of Fran Drescher's laugh. You'll know instantly which camp you're in and it's futile to convince folks to jump from one side to the other. If you're familiar with her previous output, this sounds more streamlined and straightforward, which suits her fine, just not as well as the jazzier/bluesier arrangements on Escondida. If you're not familiar, listen to the 30 second sample and prepare yourself to fall in love or jam something sharp in your ears.
Recommended If You Like: Lucinda Williams, Andrew Bird, divisive artists
Rating: 49/60 Oddball Voices

Of Montreal - "Id Engager" b/w "Alter Eagle"
If you're new to the Of Montreal party, you're going to have to ask yourself, "Am I interested in nerdy disco with lyrics like, 'Ladies, I'm screaming up to you from the depths of this phallocentric tyranny?'" There's value in both their more recent work and their earlier, more childish and schizophrenic albums, but unless I'm specifically in the mood to listen to them, either flavor of Of Montreal can seem too precious. At this point, they're best taken in small doses and this single is likely all I'll need from their forthcoming Skeletal Lamping.
Recommended If You Like: Scissor Sisters, Fiery Furnaces, bands who might be interested in dancing, psychedelics and/or wizards
Rating: 638/1000 Outback Steakhouse Bloomin' Onions

-- Jeff Reguilon

Singles Report for August 19: T.I., P!nk, Solange, Faith Hill, Ben Folds and More

T.I. - "Whatever You Like"
I'm not sure I ever needed to hear T.I. singing, but at least he's enunciating and not using autotune, so I'm going to call this at least a small win. Here, he seems like he's following the 50 Cent model, where he releases an ultra-dumb poppy, sing-song joint about clubbing/drinking/smoking/humping that's clearly beneath his capabilities as a rapper in the hope that pandering to the lowest common denominator opens some wallets. That's fine-- I'm not going to get mad at someone for padding his pocketbook by recording some ringtone rap-- but I think about how majestic "What You Know" was and it managed to be grimy, interesting, and popular all without having to drop some moronic innuendo like "brain so good/ I swore you went to college." For all that talk about how T.I. spent that time under house arrest honing his craft, you wouldn't know it from listening to this song.
Recommended If You Like: "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne but hate the Cher effect/robot voice
Rating: 6/10 Ringtones

P!nk - "So What"
If you've been thinking to yourself, "I wish Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" sounded more like a jock jam, but also had some of those trendy trance keyboards happening in the background and featured lyrics about unconvincing post-divorce empowerment instead of fashionable lesbian experimentation," you'll probably be very happy to hear this song, but sad about everything else in your life.
Recommended If You Like: Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, desperate stabs at continued relevance
Rating: 32/100 randomly placed exclamation points

Faith Hill - "A Baby Changes Everything"
You might think Faith Hill is trying to capitalize on barely-existent The Secret Life of the American Teenager-mania by whipping out a treacly, orchestra-backed ballad about an unplanned adolescent pregnancy, but you probably haven't taken into account that this August single is from her forthcoming holiday music album. The song is actually a somewhat interesting look at Mary's perspective on the Immaculate Conception, but interesting certainly does not always equal enjoyable. NOTE: The song's been taken down since we posted this. We apologize for the tease.
Recommended If You Like: Amy Grant, LeAnne Rimes, out-of-season Christmas tunes
Rating: 8/15 baby Jesuses (Jesii?)

Solange (feat. Lil' Wayne) - "ChampagneCroniKnightcap"
There was a time I found it irritating that Matthew Knowles, daddy-manager extraordinaire, would shoehorn Solange into appearances as a condition to get his other, more famous daughter, Beyonce, to show up at awards shows and the like. It always felt like he was trying to hard to make "fetch" work, but based on two awesome singles-- this one and "I Decided," which sounds like vintage Natalie Cole-- and some interesting interviews she's given recently, it seems like Solange may actually be the more interesting star. This song is some tight pre-bedroom R&B. It's suggestive, midtempo foreplay that should leave you good and ready for the whole album when it drops next week
Recommended If You Like: Robin Thicke, Brooke Valentine, surprising talent
Rating: 22/27 Lil' Wayne guest verses

Five For Fighting - "Something About You (Theme From The Baby Borrowers)"
John Ondrasik has always struck me as the sort of guy who's self-aware enough to find one of his band's songs rereleased as a single because of an attachment to a morally reprehensible reality show as funny as I do. Still, unless you're a Five for Fighting superfan (in which case you probably already have the bonus disc on which this song was originally issued) or you collect TV theme songs, you're probably better off heading over to the dude's charity site, Whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com, and cruising the user-submitted videos for a while instead of spending time downloading this nearly forgotten song.
Recommended If You Like: Matchbox Twenty, Train, thinking about what kind of parents would allow random teenagers to care for their newborn babies
Rating: 9/16 bad reality show ideas

Keane - "Spiralling"
I certainly didn't expect the new Keane single to be this brilliant, neon-colored dance anthem, but if you did, please get in touch so I can harness your psychic powers for awesome instead of weird. I'd also like to use your psychic powers to bet on sporting events. Thanks!
Recommended If You Like: the Killers, Kenna, dancing instead of crying
Rating: 43/50 discoballs

 

Ben Folds (feat. Regina Spektor) - "You Don't Know Me"
Out of the three duets Regina Spektor has recorded with artists I like (the other two being "Modern Girls & Old Fashion Men" with the Strokes and "Hell No" with Sondre Lerche), this song is second best, but it's also Ben Folds' best shot at a hit since he went solo. "You Don't Know Me" is intriguingly odd, just like you'd expect from the parties involved, but it's also accessible and catchy as hell.
Recommended If You Like: Maroon 5, non-ska Madness, two quirky tastes that taste great together
Rating: 81/100 Dueling Pianos

Wayne Brady - "Ordinary"
If you like grown-and-sexy, straightforward, smoothed out, late-perioud Luther Vandross-style R&B, this isn't bad, but I'm among the segment of folks that will no longer be able to think about Wayne Brady without that infamous Chappelle's Show sketch coming to mind. He does not crack wise a la Whose Line Is It Anyway here, nor does he threaten to choke a b-word; it's just earnest musing about being old, boring, happy, and in love.
Recommended If You Like: Brian McKnight, Al Jarreau, changing into sweats when you get home from work
Rating: 27/40 happy marriages

Fujiya and Miyagi - "Knickerbocker"
The lyrics aren't generally the primary point of focus in Fujiya and Miyagi songs. This is music with chugging rhythms to keep you dancing/working out/doing key bumps/shopping at Urban Outfitters, and it's excellent for that. However, the lyrics to this song, which repeat the names of both an ice cream sundae and a former child star who was driven to death largely by anorexia, are too bizarre to ignore, even if you don't understand the non-American references. Is the groove enough to get around this? Maybe.
Recommended If You Like: LCD Soundsystem, Hot Chip, hot fudge
Rating: 137/165 Ziggy Pigs

Everlast - "Folsom Prison Blues"
Everlast shot a man in Reno just to watch him jump around.
Recommended If You Like: Desecrating the memory of Johnny Cash, seeing Everlast embrace his House of Pain past
Rating: 3/77 used copies of Whitey Ford Sings the Blues

 

-- Jeff Reguilon

Singles Report for August 12: David Archuleta, Kristy Lee Cook, Franz Ferdinand and More

David Archuleta – "Crush"
Inoffensive and  benign, this likely hit from the Idol runner-up features the same cheap-sounding drums made popular by Chris Brown's "With You" and Beyonce's "Irreplaceable." It's about as smooth and flavorful as a bowl of plain Cream of Wheat, which means you're probably going to hear this in regular rotation on adult contemporary stations for the next decade.

Recommended If You Like: Jesse McCartney, Chris Brown, guys who look like they own adult-sized footie pajamas
Rating: 6/10 Packets of Hot Cereal

Kristy Lee Cook – "15 Minutes of Shame"
This is a kiss-off from someone who sounds too joyful and incapable of malice to mean it. Fun, but toothless, I can't see disgruntled ladies jamming out to this even a tenth as hard as they did to that other former Idol's "Since U Been Gone."

Recommended If You Like: Kellie Pickler, SheDaisy, talking tough when your man cheats on you even though you're not really that upset
Rating: 73/100 American Flag Window Decals

Franz Ferdinand – "Lucid Dreams"
You know what you're getting from a Franz Ferdinand single at this point: a pounding rhythm simple enough for even the most graceless to dance to it, easily ignorable lyrics, and huge guitars when the massive hook kicks in. If Franz Ferdinand and the Hives can continue to release records on major labels if only because they're almost guaranteed to get songs licensed to Nike commercials or the new Madden game, why won't anyone extend Electric Six the same courtesy? How are they more of a novelty band than either of those two?

Recommended If You Like: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Scissor Sisters, songs played during the lead-in to commercial during NFL games
Rating: 5/11 Licensing Deals

Bloc Party – "Mercury"
Are we sure this isn't a remix?

Recommended If You Like: "Batdance" by Prince
Rating: 673/1000 Potential future Girl Talk Samples

 

 

Kenny Chesney (feat. The Wailers [yes those Wailers]) – "Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven"
I'm fairly certain Kenny Chesney's current guiding career principle is "What Would Jimmy Buffett Do?" You'll be able to pick up hemp WWJBD? bracelets at the merch booth when he goes on tour this Fall. I hope the Wailers got paid handsomely for appearing on this awful Corona-fueled mess.

Recommended If You Like: Wasting away in Margaritaville
Rating: 2/7 Parrotheads

 

Big Boi (feat. Mary J. Blige) – "Sumthin's Gotta Give"
It's honorable that Big Boi is trying to give his verses letigimate content, but everything about this complaint song is flaccid. The beat is driven by soft funk bass, which certainly doesn't make me want to stick around for rhymes about high gas prices. Even Mary J. can't save this. If you need new Big Boi, avoid "Sumthin's Gotta Give" and listen to the superior "Royal Flush" instead.

Recommended If You Like: "Why?" by Jadakiss
Rating: 21/85 Sumthins

Little Big Town – "Fine Line"
This is a nice little slice of countryfied Fleetwood Mac. The lyrics take on worries about a fraying, uneven relationship, and while it's tedious to hear this kind of story  in real life, since it's usually pretty obvious that the person on the low end of the teeter-totter should just get off, "Fine Line" proves this sort of thing works better in song.

Recommended If You Like: Sugarland, Lady Antebellum, tales of relationship woe
Rating: 83/100 Copies of He's Just Not That Into You

Puddle of Mudd – "We Don't Have to Look Back Now"
It's kind of bizarre to see a band who rose to fame because of an affiliation with Fred Durst and a single that showcased a Kurt Cobain impersonator singing "I love the way you smack my ass" turn in a softy ballad like this seven years later. This sounds remarkably similar to Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now." I mean, not like lawsuit-similar, but similar enough that they could probably slip this into a cable re-airing of Mannequin without anyone noticing the difference.

Recommended If You Like: Nickelback, 3 Doors Down, Andrew McCarthy movies
Rating: 17/27 Unnecessary Extra D's

Patty Loveless – "Why Baby Why"
I wouldn't be mad if I heard this cover of the honky tonk classic coming out of a jukebox. You'd probably be better off sticking with the George Jones version, though. Still, if the rest of Loveless' picks for her upcoming covers album (which will be issued by the ever hip Time-Life Music label, by the way) are this good, it might be worth a few spins.

Recommended If You Like: Old country songs given plastic surgery to compete in today's market/Hallmark gift shops
Rating: 211/250 Time-Life Collections Purchased Impulsively from Late-Night Infomercials

MGMT – "Metanoia"
As annoying as their art-damaged persona is and as bad a fit as they are for a major label, I'm willing to admit much of MGMT's music isn't totally terrible. Still, I dare you to pay attention to all 13+ minutes of this single without the aid of illicit substances. I'm fairly confident it can't be done. I'm also fairly confident those skinny headbands are cutting off circulation to their brains, but that's a separate issue.

Recommended If You Like: older Of Montreal, Fiery Furnaces, psychedelics
Rating: 12/57 Pairs of Neon Sunglasses

V.I.C. (feat. Soulja Boy Tell 'em, E-40, Bun B, Jermaine Dupri, Unk, Polow Da Don, and Bubba Sparxx) – "Get Silly (Mr. Collipark Extended Remix)"
Speaking of songs that are too long, nothing involving Soulja Boy should last longer than 45 seconds-- even if it has E-40 and Bun B on it. I'm rarely a fan of these all-star remixes, but when the beat is this weak and the quality of the guest verses isn't much better, they're nearly intolerable.

Recommended If You Like: Incohesive pop rap joints longer than most celebrities' D.U.I.-related jail stays
Rating: 1.5/10 Ice-T Old Man Rants

Murs – "Can It Be (Half a Million Dollars and 18 Months Later)" and "Me and This Jawn"
Even though this former indie rapper beats the same path on "Can it Be" that Big Boi does on the aforementioned "Somethin's Gotta Give," Murs' version is more solid and more re-listenable. The sample of the Jackson 5's "I Wanna Be Where You Are" definitely helps. The Jackson samples also help on Rhymefest's Man in the Mirror mixtape (available for free here), where 'Fest raps exclusively over Mark Ronson-produced beats built from Michael Jackson and Jackson 5 samples. I bring this up not only because of the MJ connection, but because Murs and Rhymefest strike me as similar MCs with similar messages, only Rhymefest brings more wit to the table. Also, both have flown largely under the mainstream radar and I'm hoping their next albums bust them out. This single could help. Murs' "Me and this Jawn," which samples the Isley Brothers' "For The Love of You" won't hurt either.

Recommended If You Like: Little Brother, Blu & Exile, pulling for rap underdogs
Rating: 89/100 Vintage Soul Samples

-- Jeff Reguilon